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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?